1.31.2005
the end is near
Here we are, the last day of January. It's been quite a month. Lets review!
i=bored received 3176 hits from 344 unique visitors!
40% of the visitors still use Microsoft Internet Explorer. I urge you to switch to Mozilla Firefox, it's a much better browser and a safer way to surf!
I posted 97 links, which are all archived.
The top 3 searched for terms that brought people to this site were:
For the last image of the month, I leave you with Dan Nagy's awesome drapes.
I'll see you all in February!
i=bored received 3176 hits from 344 unique visitors!
40% of the visitors still use Microsoft Internet Explorer. I urge you to switch to Mozilla Firefox, it's a much better browser and a safer way to surf!
I posted 97 links, which are all archived.
The top 3 searched for terms that brought people to this site were:
- nickels stolen
- bad weatherman
- wiley scott kurtz
- Partied hard at Jim's on New Year's
- Started the 2nd quarter of school
- Saw "The Life Aquatic" 3 times
- Watched "Wrath of Khan," "The Girl Next Door," and "Mean Girls"
- Bitched about Garfield/Poisoned Google Ads
- Digitally remastered "In Our Time" and posted it online
- Scrapped Blogger's crappy comment system
- Drooled over the new Mac Mini
- Played I Need Sleep show at the Rodeo in DeKalb
- Rented Pikmin 2, had some kind of psychadelic mindtrip while playing it
- Wrote an essay about the band
- Saw "Super-Size Me"
- Showed Google Ads the door
- Finally updated/overhauled Dan Huff's website
- Worked on the "My Girl" music video
- Wrote an essay about women, then dumbed it down
- Awarded prize for "Worst Parking Ever"
- Made Metafilter Post about Need New Body
- LEVY - Rotten Love LP (7.8/10)
- The Life Aquatic soundtrack (8.7/10)
- Katamari Damacy soundtrack (8.2/10)
- David Byrne - Grown Backwards (5.5/10)
For the last image of the month, I leave you with Dan Nagy's awesome drapes.
I'll see you all in February!
1.30.2005
we want your heart!
I made a metafilter post today about Need New Body, a band that I am enjoying more and more every day.
Tomorrow's the last day of the month! Yikes!
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links:
Tomorrow's the last day of the month! Yikes!
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links:
- Cookieright - This is a great little comic (via)
- The Liquor Control Bee has a song to sing for you - This is great, somebody needs to make a flash animation for it (via)
- McDonald's tries to use hip lingo in an ad and fails in a revolting (but hilarious) way (via)
- Star Wars III parody trailer (via)
- Quicken screws its users - Wow, they are bastards!
1.29.2005
michael mangal
Yesterday, my dad sent me this e-mail:
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links:
Dave,There is a story about a Tsunami survivor from an Island off the coast of India that has made me decide that a man named Michael Mangal is my latest savior. The entire population of the island was washed away by the giant waves, but in an obvious act of God, this guy Mike Mangal was thrown by the waves back onto the island. He's been living there since Xmas, all alone, eating coconuts, and of course, reading the Bible. The other day a boat was passing the island, and Mike, having nothing to wear but white underpants, took them off and waved them over his head. The boaters spotted him and rescued him. He was in love with the woman who lived in the hut next door, but she got washed away. He says he didn't think she liked him anyway. HI Ho. The only thing I'm not sure of is how to properly worship Michael, but as a preliminary effort, I'm off to Target to buy white underpants.
Love, Dad
p.s. If you don't have any pants, can you still call them underpants?
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links:
- Pokemon causes cancer (via)
- Paper Prince of the Cosmos - Make your own! (via)
- Geneva under ice - Anyone who parked by the lake is OWNED
- Saved by beer (via)
1.28.2005
erik the blogger
My friend Erik Abderhalden has started his own blog. Erik has great taste in music, and I occasionally get some of my links from his website. Also, I stole a power strip that belonged to him which we now use for the band. We refer to it as 'Abderhalden.' At shows, there's always someone searching frantically and yelling, "WHERE'S ABDERHALDEN?"
Oh, and here are some of the funnier excerpts from my super-dumbed-down objectification of women essay:
....................................................
The second ad is in the style of the old pin-up girls. A woman sits on a classic muscle car, leaning forward with her shirt unbuttoned. Her hands are on her knees, and what’s that between her legs? It’s another amplifier. This ad is saying that girls should just sit around next to muscle cars in skimpy clothes all the time. Women should not do that, though, because it is demeaning. This idea of women hanging around cars in skimpy clothes is not a realistic portrayal; they have no reason to do so. This ad creates the unrealistic expectation that women should just go around dressing up and striking poses with cars and amps.
---
The third advertisement features the lower half of a girl clad in skintight blue jeans and a shiny blue guitar. The advertisers didn’t even show her whole body, and they certainly didn’t show the part of her that does the thinking: Her head.
---
In this ad, they used only part of the woman, treating her like an object that can be taken apart. Women can not really be taken apart, or else they don’t live anymore.
---
There are girls who strive to be just like the women they see in ads, but they don’t realize that they can’t actually attain that beauty without unhealthy dieting, probably some drugs, and some guy with photoshop erasing all of their pores. Girls should not go their whole lives chasing some perfect ideal of beauty. Beauty is temporary, but knowledge is less temporary, and that’s what really matters.
....................................................
Sometimes I crack myself up.
-Dave
PS. I just had the awesomest classical guitar jamming session evar. I need to finish memorizing this one song, and then maybe I'll make a video to post up here.
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links:
Oh, and here are some of the funnier excerpts from my super-dumbed-down objectification of women essay:
....................................................
The second ad is in the style of the old pin-up girls. A woman sits on a classic muscle car, leaning forward with her shirt unbuttoned. Her hands are on her knees, and what’s that between her legs? It’s another amplifier. This ad is saying that girls should just sit around next to muscle cars in skimpy clothes all the time. Women should not do that, though, because it is demeaning. This idea of women hanging around cars in skimpy clothes is not a realistic portrayal; they have no reason to do so. This ad creates the unrealistic expectation that women should just go around dressing up and striking poses with cars and amps.
---
The third advertisement features the lower half of a girl clad in skintight blue jeans and a shiny blue guitar. The advertisers didn’t even show her whole body, and they certainly didn’t show the part of her that does the thinking: Her head.
---
In this ad, they used only part of the woman, treating her like an object that can be taken apart. Women can not really be taken apart, or else they don’t live anymore.
---
There are girls who strive to be just like the women they see in ads, but they don’t realize that they can’t actually attain that beauty without unhealthy dieting, probably some drugs, and some guy with photoshop erasing all of their pores. Girls should not go their whole lives chasing some perfect ideal of beauty. Beauty is temporary, but knowledge is less temporary, and that’s what really matters.
....................................................
Sometimes I crack myself up.
-Dave
PS. I just had the awesomest classical guitar jamming session evar. I need to finish memorizing this one song, and then maybe I'll make a video to post up here.
...
links:
- New Beck Video: Hell Yes - Beck's new album comes out March 29 (via)
- Interview with Seth MacFarlane of Family Guy (via Erik)
- Tossing a cheerleader through a basketball hoop - I don't know what to say... I don't think it's real... (via)
- This is what it looks like when you drive your submarine full speed into an undersea mountain (via)
- How to kick ass with a walking stick - A guide from 1901. I didn't actually read it, but the little diagrams would make for incredible cover art (via)
1.27.2005
worst parking ever
This morning there was a thin layer of snow on the ground, which means total anarchy in the College of DuPage parking lot. Since nobody can see the lines, everybody flips out and starts parking all willy-nilly. This person was especially bad, though. The car isn't even near the yellow lines, it's just out in the middle of the lane. I took some snapshots because I had my camera on me, but they really don't do it any justice. Take my word for it, it was the worst parking ever. That is why I had to leave a note.
This is why I have to start taking my camera everywhere.
Oh, and one more thing, the final draft of my essay has some pretty funny things in it. I really dumbed it down and just said the same thing over and over about women being objectified and whatnot, but there are some little things that I still find hilarious about it. I'll post some stuff tomorrow.
-Dave
not for the faint of heart
Hey, folks. It's the middle of the night, and I'm supposed to be writing an essay about the objectification of women in advertisements. I had a lot of trouble with my first draft because I wasn't really convinced that this is a rampant problem these days. I had to go through fifteen magazines to find three examples. Of course, I don't really subscribe to magazines, so my resources consisted mostly of some old copies of Scientific American that I bought because I'm a sucker for articles on black holes, but I digress. I eventually found some guitar magazines with some pictures of girls posing with amps.
Here are a couple of excerpts from my first draft. Oh, and it might not be safe for the kids.
.................................................
The page is white except for the towering stack of amplifiers in the middle with script above it reading, "When Size Matters." It’s as if the advertisers are smiling proudly to themselves, leaning close to your ear, pointing to the print with their fat fingers and whispering, “Get it? We’re talking about the thing… in your pants.”
---
It’s hard to sell something to a brain. A brain can make decisions, it can make reasonable evaluations of worth. A penis, on the other hand, is like a dog. Wave a piece of meat around, and a dog will come running. In fact, it doesn’t matter what you wave around, you could give garbage to a dog and he’ll chew it up regardless. This is exactly what the advertisers are banking on.
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Lure in the dogs with a little cheesecake, then hit ‘em with the merchandise. The flaw in this logic should already be evident to anyone who’s ever owned a dog. If you’ve ever tried to hide a pill in a dog’s food, you know that they will always finish every last morsel, but still manage to leave the pill behind. They say sex sells, but it really only ever sells itself.
---
This page’s sole purpose is to awaken inside of me primal urges. It is engineered to make me want to leap onto my desk right now and beat my chest and be one with nature. I will take her as my mate, and we will live in the jungle and abandon language, civilization, and the law of man. It is cruel reality that keeps me in my seat, however. It is the reality that I live in, and there is no jungle here. It is the reality that tomorrow I will have to shave, put on pressed slacks and a shirt with a collar so I can sit behind a desk and make money for the man. It is this sad realization that brings my eye to something else on the page – a guitar! It’s smooth and shiny, and it has the same curves as the previous object of my desire. My enthusiasm for the woman is transferred to the instrument, which is infinitely more attainable. The advertisers used the woman as a tool to lure me in, but this time I actually became interested in the product they were selling. Was it really the sex that sold it?
.................................................
I would post the whole essay, but those are really the only interesting parts. You can see, though, that it was completely absurd and inappropriate as an assignment for any sort of class, which is really my favorite kind of essay to write. Here are the comments my teacher wrote:
"Too Colloquial"
"ENGLISH CLASS!"
"Excessive, sarcastic tone is counterproductive"
...and then there was the little thing about completely neglecting to write an intro and conclusion. I'm breaking the mold! God!
Seriously, though, when you give me an assignment in which I'm expected to regurgitate some mindless pre-approved crap, I see it as a license to take the ball and run in the opposite direction. Or, in this case, throw the ball into the bleachers and spin around in mad circles while making "beep beep" noises.
The problem here arises from the fact that the assignment was to write an opinion paper from a perspective that is not of my gender. I could have easily written about how women are treated as objects and women in the media create unreal standards blah blah blah. Instead, I took the time to think about what these ads actually mean to me. How do they affect me? What angle are the advertisers using to try and get through to my wallet? What repercussions does the objectification of women have beyond what we've all heard a billion times before? God forbid I should actually take this opportunity to try and birth a fresh opinion.
Despite my best attempts, though, I wrote a bad essay. There are aspects of it that I'm somewhat proud of, but on the whole, it's bad. It's not because there's no proper intro or conclusion, though, and there certainly was plenty of thought put into it. The problem with this essay is that I had to form an opinion about something towards which I am completely apathetic, and no amount of re-writing by this author can fix that. My only option now is to cut up this draft for bait and hope to catch something my english teacher will swallow.
-Dave
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links:
Here are a couple of excerpts from my first draft. Oh, and it might not be safe for the kids.
.................................................
The page is white except for the towering stack of amplifiers in the middle with script above it reading, "When Size Matters." It’s as if the advertisers are smiling proudly to themselves, leaning close to your ear, pointing to the print with their fat fingers and whispering, “Get it? We’re talking about the thing… in your pants.”
---
It’s hard to sell something to a brain. A brain can make decisions, it can make reasonable evaluations of worth. A penis, on the other hand, is like a dog. Wave a piece of meat around, and a dog will come running. In fact, it doesn’t matter what you wave around, you could give garbage to a dog and he’ll chew it up regardless. This is exactly what the advertisers are banking on.
---
Lure in the dogs with a little cheesecake, then hit ‘em with the merchandise. The flaw in this logic should already be evident to anyone who’s ever owned a dog. If you’ve ever tried to hide a pill in a dog’s food, you know that they will always finish every last morsel, but still manage to leave the pill behind. They say sex sells, but it really only ever sells itself.
---
This page’s sole purpose is to awaken inside of me primal urges. It is engineered to make me want to leap onto my desk right now and beat my chest and be one with nature. I will take her as my mate, and we will live in the jungle and abandon language, civilization, and the law of man. It is cruel reality that keeps me in my seat, however. It is the reality that I live in, and there is no jungle here. It is the reality that tomorrow I will have to shave, put on pressed slacks and a shirt with a collar so I can sit behind a desk and make money for the man. It is this sad realization that brings my eye to something else on the page – a guitar! It’s smooth and shiny, and it has the same curves as the previous object of my desire. My enthusiasm for the woman is transferred to the instrument, which is infinitely more attainable. The advertisers used the woman as a tool to lure me in, but this time I actually became interested in the product they were selling. Was it really the sex that sold it?
.................................................
I would post the whole essay, but those are really the only interesting parts. You can see, though, that it was completely absurd and inappropriate as an assignment for any sort of class, which is really my favorite kind of essay to write. Here are the comments my teacher wrote:
"Too Colloquial"
"ENGLISH CLASS!"
"Excessive, sarcastic tone is counterproductive"
...and then there was the little thing about completely neglecting to write an intro and conclusion. I'm breaking the mold! God!
Seriously, though, when you give me an assignment in which I'm expected to regurgitate some mindless pre-approved crap, I see it as a license to take the ball and run in the opposite direction. Or, in this case, throw the ball into the bleachers and spin around in mad circles while making "beep beep" noises.
The problem here arises from the fact that the assignment was to write an opinion paper from a perspective that is not of my gender. I could have easily written about how women are treated as objects and women in the media create unreal standards blah blah blah. Instead, I took the time to think about what these ads actually mean to me. How do they affect me? What angle are the advertisers using to try and get through to my wallet? What repercussions does the objectification of women have beyond what we've all heard a billion times before? God forbid I should actually take this opportunity to try and birth a fresh opinion.
Despite my best attempts, though, I wrote a bad essay. There are aspects of it that I'm somewhat proud of, but on the whole, it's bad. It's not because there's no proper intro or conclusion, though, and there certainly was plenty of thought put into it. The problem with this essay is that I had to form an opinion about something towards which I am completely apathetic, and no amount of re-writing by this author can fix that. My only option now is to cut up this draft for bait and hope to catch something my english teacher will swallow.
-Dave
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links:
- Henry Bekkering can jump 40 vertical inches - It's like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon... only with basketball (via)
- Dear Brian, please buy this digital trumpet (via)
1.26.2005
...and i'm back
Did you miss me? Of course you did. You'll notice I added a couple of things to the site. One is a little deal that shows off my pictures on flickr. I'm gonna try and start taking more snapshots. The other is a little paypal donation button. If you care to throw any money my way, it will go straight into the I Need Sleep fund, and it will help us out a lot with releasing our album sooner, even if it's like $5. It takes a lot of work, time, and money to self-release an album, and we ain't got no money. Your efforts will not go unrewarded.
Of course, if you'd like to help the band but would like something tangible in return, please have a look at the 2nMusic store.
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links:
Of course, if you'd like to help the band but would like something tangible in return, please have a look at the 2nMusic store.
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links:
- Man dances/plays trombone (.mov, via)
- 1 inch mp3 cube - This is hawt. And it has a screen? What a feature! (via)
- More fun with Garfield - I love it when people screw with Garfield strips (via)
- Flickr coincidence - Somebody needs to help me find my guy (via)
- I just read about Ashlee in us weekly. Those guys at the football game were total jerks. -Mandy
1.24.2005
Breakin' a Take
It's been a while since I've updated you on my projects, and since this was originally supposed to be my personal projects blog, I should prolly be filling you in.
Today, I got my hands all sticky and covered in ink working on the "My Girl" music video for I Need Sleep. I still don't have the look I want pinned down quite yet, but it is coming along pretty awesomely.
I'm gonna take a break from bloggin' for a couple of days so I can work on some stuff, I hope you can manage without me. If you get bored, just watch this Need New Body music video over and over until you go insane.
-Dave
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I will continue to update the links here:
- Silver PStwo - If this comes to America, I will be $150 poorer. (via)
- Darwinia - Independently published game with unique retro-futuristic graphics. I'm gonna try the demo later. (via)
- Bad Weatherman and Worse Weatherman
1.23.2005
my name is smitty, i'm at the armageddon
I went and updated the Dan Huff Archive of Works, so you should go take a look at it. I used Airtight Interactive's SimpleViewer, which is a neat little flash app that I think suites the archive just right. All of Dan's old tapes and CD's are up there now, and it's definitely worth a browse.
I'm trying to learn how to use Flash better, I think I should pick up a book or something.
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links:
I'm trying to learn how to use Flash better, I think I should pick up a book or something.
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links:
- What it's really like to be a homicide detective - This is why I don't like CSI (via)
- Five terrible fake LiveJournal memes - Feel free to post your answers to these in the comments. (via)
- Some info on Nintendo's next console - I'm disappointed that they chose HD-DVD over Blu-ray. Why are they always hellbent on picking the smaller capacity formats?
1.22.2005
i want to wad you up into my life
There is an I Need Sleep show on Saturday, February 5th. It's at the Fat Bean coffee house, which is located in Naperville on the corner of route 59 and 87th street. Dan Huff and Inspector Owl will also be there, but we are headlining. It's all ages, it starts at 8:30pm, and there's a $5 cover. I DEMAND YOU COME. Bring money for merch if you want to help out the band and speed up the release of the forthcoming album. Mark yer calendars.
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links:
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links:
- google.co.ck - Tee hee indeed, Kottke.
- Can you think better when you're typing? - I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! (via)
- Grow up? Not so fast - This is definitely where I'm heading. See also. (via)
- Exeem is out, but if you're trying to cut down on the spyware (and who isn't?), try Exeem Lite.
- Sony confesses its sins - Oh, Sony, I can't stay mad at you.
1.21.2005
take that, google ads
You might notice I got rid of the google ads yesterday. My problem with it was that I wrote ONE article about how much I hate Garfield, and then it decided to try and sell Garfield crap for the rest of eternity. It was an eyesore, and it wasn't making me any money anyway. Good riddance.
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links:
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links:
- Ukrainian man hasn't slept in 20 years - I envy him so bad (via)
- Fatboy Slim covers 'The Joker' - WITH KITTIES! (.asx, via)
1.20.2005
like a live microphone
This post over at metafilter is really interesting. It's a lot of reading, so if you don't feel like going through it, I'll try to sum it up here.
It's a bunch of articles describing a type of epilepsy called "Temporal Lobe Epilepsy," or TLE for short. Basically, it doesn't really cause seizures in the traditional sense, but rather causes behavioral shifts. Actually, I can't explain it very well, you should really go read the articles.
Anyway, it's known to cause excessive creativity, mood swings, and bizarre hallucinations. A number of the accounts actually remind me of an article I read about one of my all-time heroes, Tom Waits:
At 14, Waits went through a period when he was certain he had a disease no one else had. At night, just as his heart slowed for sleep, all the sounds in his room, in his house, out in the street, would increase in volume and size like monsters. TW: "My hand across the sheet sounded like I was doing it across a live microphone," Waits says. "My fingers would roar around my face in the air trying to make it stop. Just scratching and clawing at my face was maddening, it was so loud. It was a violent and terrifying thing to me as a child. I knew whatever it was, a doctor could not help me, and I was probably going to die." Waits told no one, not even his parents, and slowly developed his own meditation techniques for isolating the sounds and decreasing their volume. After curing himself, Waits began sampling sounds and studying them, recording on wobbly reel-to-reel machines, amplifying his guitar by listening to it with an ambulance driver's stethoscope stuck in the body while he played."
There are other articles like this where Tom describes it better, but this is the best one I could find for now. My point is, this sounds a lot like a TLE episode. In the articles, they try to make the point that many famous creative people were probably driven by their epilepsy to working so obsessively on things like writing and painting. I don't know how true all of this really is, and it's an interesting proposition, but that's not why these articles concern me.
When I was a kid, I had episodes that were almost exactly the same as the ones Tom Waits describes himself as having. Every little sound was amplified to an unbearable degree, but they were also altered in that they had an almost mocking edge to them. Imagine someone speaking to you very loud and clearly, over-enunciating everything with an almost hostile diction, as if talking to an idiot. Now imagine every little noise around you amplified with the same tone, the same angry impatience. This is exactly what it was like for me. These experiences probably only lasted a couple of minutes, but it seemed like forever, and there was no way to drown out the sound. I thought I was completely insane. The episodes weren't very frequent, though, and they stopped occurring sometime before middle school.
I had pretty much forgotten all about it until a couple of days ago. I was sitting in the living room playing Pikmin 2. My sister and my mother were on the couch, and my mother was reading a book. Suddenly, the volume went up on everything. Every happy little musical note and cute little Pikmin yelp in the game became a shrieking taunt. Every page turned in my mother's book was horrible torture. I immediately recognized what was happening and I wanted to run away and bury my head in a pillow. I knew that even if I did, though, I would still be able to hear every little noise reverberating around in my head, and it would do no good. I didn't say anything, and I just kept playing until it passed. Everything about it seemed unreal, like a nightmare.
This is why the TLE articles have captured so much of my attention. I have some of the symptoms (obsessive creativity), but I don't have a lot of the major ones (I'm not very emotional). Am I in the early stages of TLE? Do I have something else? Did I just have some kind of weird migraine? Is nothing wrong at all? Does this happen to other people? I guess I really shouldn't worry about it unless it starts happening with any kind of frequency. It just freaks me out, is all.
...
links:
It's a bunch of articles describing a type of epilepsy called "Temporal Lobe Epilepsy," or TLE for short. Basically, it doesn't really cause seizures in the traditional sense, but rather causes behavioral shifts. Actually, I can't explain it very well, you should really go read the articles.
Anyway, it's known to cause excessive creativity, mood swings, and bizarre hallucinations. A number of the accounts actually remind me of an article I read about one of my all-time heroes, Tom Waits:
At 14, Waits went through a period when he was certain he had a disease no one else had. At night, just as his heart slowed for sleep, all the sounds in his room, in his house, out in the street, would increase in volume and size like monsters. TW: "My hand across the sheet sounded like I was doing it across a live microphone," Waits says. "My fingers would roar around my face in the air trying to make it stop. Just scratching and clawing at my face was maddening, it was so loud. It was a violent and terrifying thing to me as a child. I knew whatever it was, a doctor could not help me, and I was probably going to die." Waits told no one, not even his parents, and slowly developed his own meditation techniques for isolating the sounds and decreasing their volume. After curing himself, Waits began sampling sounds and studying them, recording on wobbly reel-to-reel machines, amplifying his guitar by listening to it with an ambulance driver's stethoscope stuck in the body while he played."
There are other articles like this where Tom describes it better, but this is the best one I could find for now. My point is, this sounds a lot like a TLE episode. In the articles, they try to make the point that many famous creative people were probably driven by their epilepsy to working so obsessively on things like writing and painting. I don't know how true all of this really is, and it's an interesting proposition, but that's not why these articles concern me.
When I was a kid, I had episodes that were almost exactly the same as the ones Tom Waits describes himself as having. Every little sound was amplified to an unbearable degree, but they were also altered in that they had an almost mocking edge to them. Imagine someone speaking to you very loud and clearly, over-enunciating everything with an almost hostile diction, as if talking to an idiot. Now imagine every little noise around you amplified with the same tone, the same angry impatience. This is exactly what it was like for me. These experiences probably only lasted a couple of minutes, but it seemed like forever, and there was no way to drown out the sound. I thought I was completely insane. The episodes weren't very frequent, though, and they stopped occurring sometime before middle school.
I had pretty much forgotten all about it until a couple of days ago. I was sitting in the living room playing Pikmin 2. My sister and my mother were on the couch, and my mother was reading a book. Suddenly, the volume went up on everything. Every happy little musical note and cute little Pikmin yelp in the game became a shrieking taunt. Every page turned in my mother's book was horrible torture. I immediately recognized what was happening and I wanted to run away and bury my head in a pillow. I knew that even if I did, though, I would still be able to hear every little noise reverberating around in my head, and it would do no good. I didn't say anything, and I just kept playing until it passed. Everything about it seemed unreal, like a nightmare.
This is why the TLE articles have captured so much of my attention. I have some of the symptoms (obsessive creativity), but I don't have a lot of the major ones (I'm not very emotional). Am I in the early stages of TLE? Do I have something else? Did I just have some kind of weird migraine? Is nothing wrong at all? Does this happen to other people? I guess I really shouldn't worry about it unless it starts happening with any kind of frequency. It just freaks me out, is all.
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links:
- I finally got around to working on DanHuff.net, so you should visit it. You can't tell because it looks exactly the same, but I completely overhauled the layout. Before, I was using tables for layout, which is really frowned upon by harcore web designers, but now it's entirely web standards compliant with CSS layout and everything. Not that you know what that means, but trust me, it took a while. Anyway, I'll be working on adding more content later.
- Man invents device to see through walls/deathray - He also invented a suit for fighting bears (via)
- Iris presents: God's first seven LiveJournal entries - I laughed.
- Deceptacon - This music video wins my award for "Most Hilarious Choreography Evar" (quicktime, via Erik!)
1.19.2005
i liked the part where the guy got fat
I just got done watching "Super-Size Me."
Now I'm eating gummi bears.
Damn you, gummi bears. Damn you straight to hell.
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links:
Now I'm eating gummi bears.
Damn you, gummi bears. Damn you straight to hell.
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links:
- "One does not simply walk into Mortor" (via)
- Star Wars Blooper Reel - Today is stupid humor day, apparently. (via)
- Metafilter is tagging now - Wow, everybody was quick to jump on that. Of course, tags are the future.
1.18.2005
dance like an idiot
This is the essay I wrote about I Need Sleep. I got an A.
...
DL is lurching around and yelping in front of the microphone, manically striking chords with his jury-rigged three-string electric ukulele. Brian is dancing and playing the washboard, tossing his bright orange hair around to the beat. Justin is consumed in his slide guitar, and Dan is a mess of flailing arms and cymbal crashes. I’m across the stage from DL, a maraca in one hand and a bullhorn in the other. The audience is bewildered, slowly migrating from the bar towards the stage. They stand entranced, eyebrows askew, their mouths open slightly in a thoughtful, pondering expression. We haven’t won them over yet; they’re still taking everything in. They wonder, what are all these sounds? Shouldn’t there be more guitars? Their eyes sweep across the stage; there are keyboards and guitars, a saw and a trashcan, unidentifiable stringed instruments and horns. Five young men in thrift-store suits jump around the stage, and a sign proclaims “I NEED SLEEP” in glowing red letters.
There’s a flash from below. It’s Dan’s brother, Stas, the official photographer for the band. He knows the drill, he was there for all the basement shows, the street gigs, the coffee shops. The song ends, and there is apprehensive applause. The onstage action has not stopped, however, as everyone switches instruments for the second song. I run across the stage to the organ, Justin pulls out his mandolin, DL grabs a guitar, and Brian sidles up to the instrument mic with his trumpet. The next song starts, and that’s when something clicks with the audience. Their skepticism is replaced with enthusiasm. Apprehensive stares are replaced with knowing grins. Feet are tapping and heads are bobbing.
This is a good show. We’ve won over the audience. There are always the shows, though, where people don’t tap their feet. There are shows where the hard, skeptical expressions don’t fade away. There are shows where people start requesting Blink 182 songs, and there are shows where people tell us to turn it down. We spend an entire day loading and unloading equipment, and somebody gets lost, and there’s no parking. Strings break and band members get sick. There are sound guys who just can’t understand that we have more than guitars, bass, and drums. Sometimes we play an entire show, and nobody cares and we don’t get paid. After a disappointing show, we’re all tired and everybody just wants to go home.
In the end, everyone has their victories and their losses. Some venues we talk about with great pride, retelling stories of our accomplishment as if we are great conquerors of distant lands. On the other hand, there are bars that are only spoken of in hushed tones, their names like demonic incantations that mortal men dare not speak out loud. Nothing can discourage us, though. We are the band that uses toy electric pianos and plastic flute-o-phones. We are the band that brought a gong to a high-school basement show. We always get back on stage, and in that glorious slice of time when all those lights and eyes are pointed solely at us, nothing matters except to rock out and dance like an idiot.
...
links:
...
“Dance Like an Idiot”
An essay about the most unnecessarily complicated band in the universe
By Dave Hoffman
An essay about the most unnecessarily complicated band in the universe
By Dave Hoffman
DL is lurching around and yelping in front of the microphone, manically striking chords with his jury-rigged three-string electric ukulele. Brian is dancing and playing the washboard, tossing his bright orange hair around to the beat. Justin is consumed in his slide guitar, and Dan is a mess of flailing arms and cymbal crashes. I’m across the stage from DL, a maraca in one hand and a bullhorn in the other. The audience is bewildered, slowly migrating from the bar towards the stage. They stand entranced, eyebrows askew, their mouths open slightly in a thoughtful, pondering expression. We haven’t won them over yet; they’re still taking everything in. They wonder, what are all these sounds? Shouldn’t there be more guitars? Their eyes sweep across the stage; there are keyboards and guitars, a saw and a trashcan, unidentifiable stringed instruments and horns. Five young men in thrift-store suits jump around the stage, and a sign proclaims “I NEED SLEEP” in glowing red letters.
There’s a flash from below. It’s Dan’s brother, Stas, the official photographer for the band. He knows the drill, he was there for all the basement shows, the street gigs, the coffee shops. The song ends, and there is apprehensive applause. The onstage action has not stopped, however, as everyone switches instruments for the second song. I run across the stage to the organ, Justin pulls out his mandolin, DL grabs a guitar, and Brian sidles up to the instrument mic with his trumpet. The next song starts, and that’s when something clicks with the audience. Their skepticism is replaced with enthusiasm. Apprehensive stares are replaced with knowing grins. Feet are tapping and heads are bobbing.
This is a good show. We’ve won over the audience. There are always the shows, though, where people don’t tap their feet. There are shows where the hard, skeptical expressions don’t fade away. There are shows where people start requesting Blink 182 songs, and there are shows where people tell us to turn it down. We spend an entire day loading and unloading equipment, and somebody gets lost, and there’s no parking. Strings break and band members get sick. There are sound guys who just can’t understand that we have more than guitars, bass, and drums. Sometimes we play an entire show, and nobody cares and we don’t get paid. After a disappointing show, we’re all tired and everybody just wants to go home.
In the end, everyone has their victories and their losses. Some venues we talk about with great pride, retelling stories of our accomplishment as if we are great conquerors of distant lands. On the other hand, there are bars that are only spoken of in hushed tones, their names like demonic incantations that mortal men dare not speak out loud. Nothing can discourage us, though. We are the band that uses toy electric pianos and plastic flute-o-phones. We are the band that brought a gong to a high-school basement show. We always get back on stage, and in that glorious slice of time when all those lights and eyes are pointed solely at us, nothing matters except to rock out and dance like an idiot.
...
links:
- The web's first blogger has a breakdown - This is unsettling (10min quicktime, via)
- Bill Gates: Sex Machine? (via)
- "The Polar Express" and why motion-capture sucks - I heard the terrible zombie-like animation and character design scared the hell out of children (via)
- Gym Class (quicktime via Jim)
1.17.2005
this looks like a job for science cop
There's nothing good on the intarnets today, except for Jeff Rowland's new comic. Or at least it will be good. It just started, after all.
I rented Pikmin 2, so I'm just gonna go play that now.
I rented Pikmin 2, so I'm just gonna go play that now.
1.16.2005
like a keytar
Just in case you were wondering who the sexiest man alive is... there's your answer.
(more pictures at ineedsleep.net)
links: (it was a slow day on the internet today)
- So You've Decided to be Evil (via Jim)
1.15.2005
look at the panda dance
I just bought the Katamari Damacy soundtrack online. It cost me a pretty penny, too. I can't wait to listen to it at work.
"I know you love me
I wanna wad you up into my life
Let's roll up to be a single star in the sky"
Weirdest. Lyrics. Evar.
DL and Brian are hellbent on getting me to visit them in the city. I finally have some freetime tonight, which I was going to spend fixing 2nmusic.com (the ugliness is KILLING ME) and working on the "My Girl" music video, but I guess I'll be rockin' out and kickin' it old school with the band instead. Not nearly as productive as I like, but still cool.
Sunday and Monday night are mine, though. I got stuff that needs to git done.
Oh, and by the way, there's an interesting little description of the band at kickstandproductions.net:
"With a mindblowing arsenal of instruments, not limited to steel drums, horns, trash cans and the general contents of a dumpster, I Need Sleep have one of the most unique live shows in the local scene. What is more incredible is the band's brit pop sensibilities and incredible talent for songwriting."
I'm just going to quote that from now on when people ask me what my band is like.
...
links:
"I know you love me
I wanna wad you up into my life
Let's roll up to be a single star in the sky"
Weirdest. Lyrics. Evar.
DL and Brian are hellbent on getting me to visit them in the city. I finally have some freetime tonight, which I was going to spend fixing 2nmusic.com (the ugliness is KILLING ME) and working on the "My Girl" music video, but I guess I'll be rockin' out and kickin' it old school with the band instead. Not nearly as productive as I like, but still cool.
Sunday and Monday night are mine, though. I got stuff that needs to git done.
Oh, and by the way, there's an interesting little description of the band at kickstandproductions.net:
"With a mindblowing arsenal of instruments, not limited to steel drums, horns, trash cans and the general contents of a dumpster, I Need Sleep have one of the most unique live shows in the local scene. What is more incredible is the band's brit pop sensibilities and incredible talent for songwriting."
I'm just going to quote that from now on when people ask me what my band is like.
...
links:
- Robot Quilts (via)
- Hanging Sphere House - I'd totally live in this thing (via)
1.14.2005
i'm the one for you
Last night we (I Need Sleep) played this place in DeKalb called "the Rodeo." The guy never actually gave us an address for it, so we sort of had to find it. Turns out, it was a door hidden away in an alley with a sign that read: "ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOL!" How could we miss it?
It's a cool place, though. They have a nice roomy stage and plenty of space for a crowd. The awesome thing about it is that the guys who own it also live there. Beyond the stage there's a door, and then there's a living space. Brian and I thought this was awesome, and he demanded that we rent out a street-level space in Chicago and do the same thing. I agreed.
The actual show went really well, I'll be sure to link to the pictures that Dan's girlfriend took once Dan posts 'em. We'll definitely be playing there again.
Oh, and here's a shout-out to Sam, Bob, Jim, and Jim's woman. You guys are awesome for coming, I'm lucky to have such dependable friends. Except, of course, for Lannon. He be STRAIGHT N00BIN'! AIGHT!
...
links:
It's a cool place, though. They have a nice roomy stage and plenty of space for a crowd. The awesome thing about it is that the guys who own it also live there. Beyond the stage there's a door, and then there's a living space. Brian and I thought this was awesome, and he demanded that we rent out a street-level space in Chicago and do the same thing. I agreed.
The actual show went really well, I'll be sure to link to the pictures that Dan's girlfriend took once Dan posts 'em. We'll definitely be playing there again.
Oh, and here's a shout-out to Sam, Bob, Jim, and Jim's woman. You guys are awesome for coming, I'm lucky to have such dependable friends. Except, of course, for Lannon. He be STRAIGHT N00BIN'! AIGHT!
...
links:
- Flybar Model 1200 - $300 pogo stick allows you to jump 5 feet into the air (via)
- Mr. Potato Head + Darth Vader = Darth Tater (via)
- Credit Card Prank - I'm sad he didn't sign as "Washington Irving" at all (via)
1.13.2005
i've got such a big heart
Drawn by Iris, it's her and some guy Will. I added myself in the corner, keepin' it real and kickin' it old school.
I thought of a new song yesterday called "Cardiac Arrest." Imagine me singing this in a shrieking falsetto a la AC/DC:
"Stumbling around, clutching your chest!
It's worse than love, it's
CARDIAC ARREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I haven't got any time to write more, though, I've got to write some essays fer school, and then there's the show. I'm not going to have time to do anything... BUT ROCK. WOO!
links:
- July 22nd, 1961: Will Life Be Worth Living in 2,000AD? - "You will be whisked around in monorail vehicles at 200 miles an hour and you will think nothing of taking a fortnight's holiday in outer space." (via)
- B of the Bang - It would totally suck if this fell over (via)
- Liam Lynch made a music video for his nephew Arlo's first birthday - This is sorta like what I do, except I don't have reasons for making songs for people. (via)
1.12.2005
i=sold
By now, you have probably heard about Apple's two new doodads, the "Mac Mini" and the "iPod Shuffle." Lets sit down and talk about this for a minute.
The Mac Mini is soaking in my drool. I'm having fantasies right now in which I'm caressing its smooth, plastic contours. But why shouldn't I? This thing is designed specifically to consume my every thought, like some kind of shiny white sniper rifle with the sole purpose of shooting me directly in the wallet. See, the iPod was the bait. So impressed was I with the design of the iPod, the newfound ability to take all my favorite albums with me to be summoned up on a whim, that surely, I thought, there must be even more items of wonder in the magical world of Apple computers. Many long days at work were spent paging back and forth between the Apple store and my bank account, but try as I might, the numbers just wouldn't match up. Until now. Ok, not really, but I am closer than ever. The Mac Mini is the poor-man's mac; Without the big display and bundled keyboard and mouse, it costs a paltry $500. It's like Steve Jobs is dangling it just above my reach, my fingertips gracing its bottom ever-so-slightly when I jump. Damn you, Steve Jobs!
As for the iPod Shuffle... Well, I'm not quite sure what to think of the iPod Shuffle. The first three words that jump to mind are "What the hell?" You know, I don't know if God gave me eyes or if they're the result of billions of years of evolution, but I have them regardless and if I'm going to pay 100-150 clams for a flash player, I damn well want to make use of them. Give me a screen! Seriously, the Shuffle doesn't even come in any colors. What are all the trendy Japanese schoolgirls going to do if they can't express their personality in one of five pastel shades? I don't know who Apple is trying to reach with this one.
In conclusion:
Anyway, I'm off to go count my shoebox 'o' savings. Actually, I keep my savings in the box my iPod came in. Isn't that funny? I'm laughing SO HARD.
...
links:
The Mac Mini is soaking in my drool. I'm having fantasies right now in which I'm caressing its smooth, plastic contours. But why shouldn't I? This thing is designed specifically to consume my every thought, like some kind of shiny white sniper rifle with the sole purpose of shooting me directly in the wallet. See, the iPod was the bait. So impressed was I with the design of the iPod, the newfound ability to take all my favorite albums with me to be summoned up on a whim, that surely, I thought, there must be even more items of wonder in the magical world of Apple computers. Many long days at work were spent paging back and forth between the Apple store and my bank account, but try as I might, the numbers just wouldn't match up. Until now. Ok, not really, but I am closer than ever. The Mac Mini is the poor-man's mac; Without the big display and bundled keyboard and mouse, it costs a paltry $500. It's like Steve Jobs is dangling it just above my reach, my fingertips gracing its bottom ever-so-slightly when I jump. Damn you, Steve Jobs!
As for the iPod Shuffle... Well, I'm not quite sure what to think of the iPod Shuffle. The first three words that jump to mind are "What the hell?" You know, I don't know if God gave me eyes or if they're the result of billions of years of evolution, but I have them regardless and if I'm going to pay 100-150 clams for a flash player, I damn well want to make use of them. Give me a screen! Seriously, the Shuffle doesn't even come in any colors. What are all the trendy Japanese schoolgirls going to do if they can't express their personality in one of five pastel shades? I don't know who Apple is trying to reach with this one.
In conclusion:
- Mac Mini = WANT
- iPod Shuffle = WHA?
Anyway, I'm off to go count my shoebox 'o' savings. Actually, I keep my savings in the box my iPod came in. Isn't that funny? I'm laughing SO HARD.
...
links:
- Wired News on people losing touch of reality because of video games - I can understand seeing Katamari Damacy everywhere... but really, almost driving your car over a mailbox? Come on!
- "I Look Like My Dog" contest (via)
- Burro Schmidt spent over 32 years digging through a solid granite mountain - "His diet consisted of beans, rice, bacon, fish chowder, boiled onions, sardines, and lots of whiskey." (via)
- B&W pinhole photos of NYC - The rest of his photo blog is great, too (via)
- NettiPot - I laughed uncontrollably (.wmv, via sissy)
1.11.2005
demonic incantations
I am writing an essay about I Need Sleep for school. Perhaps I'll share it sometime. I apologize for the lack of quality updates, school and work are keeping me pretty busy.
If you don't already know, there's a show this thursday in dekalb. Here are the directions as e-mailed to me by DL:
...
links:
If you don't already know, there's a show this thursday in dekalb. Here are the directions as e-mailed to me by DL:
Take I-88 West towards Dekalb. Take the Annie Gliden exit to NIU, driving towards the NIU campus. Make a right on Lincoln Highway (I-31) into downtown Dekalb. The Rodeo is on the lefthand side BEHIND The House Coffeeshop at 263 East Lincoln Highway (which is now closed). Remember it starts at 10 PM.
...
links:
- In the Bathroom - This is stupid and pointless, but it made me laugh (quicktime, via)
- US Submarine rams head-on into undersea mountain - I've gotta write a song about this
- Library Musical - Library patrons are entertained/confused when some guy bursts into song and dance. There are other great movies on their site. (quicktime & windows media, via)
1.10.2005
gypsies!
I overhauled the comment system, so now you can leave your name when you comment without spending forever signing up for gypsy blogger. All the old comments are gone, but it's not like anyone will miss them.
...
links:
...
links:
- Israeli McDonald's commercial/Pulp Fiction spoof - Apparently they don't say "Please" in Israel (via)
- GO TEAM VENTURE!
- Guitar/Mic jacks to USB - I NEED THIS (via)
- Dog VS Mecha-Dog - And an article about why Sony pays people to conduct pointless experiments (via)
- 1978: William Shatner performs "Rocket Man" - Shatner is my hero (.asf video, via)
1.09.2005
i wish i had a space pen
Nothing really to post about today. I just had to get my stuff done.
...
links:
...
links:
- The Hipster PDA - I'm giving this a shot because I'm a terrible procrastinator. Brian made fun of me for it, but it's actually working well for me so far. There's a related update on a good way to organize it here. (via)
- I made pizza for Kim Jong-il - This is scary
- The Liner - "The entire graduating class of Hamline University, 1925, in drawings of varying quality made semi-nightly in about one hour each."
- Liquid Sculpture - This is awesome (pics and video, via)
1.08.2005
in our time
Ok, it's what you've all been waiting for! I finally got around to remastering "In Our Time." It's like 12 minutes long, it's a quicktime file it's on Google Video, and there's a lot of dirty words so NO CHILDREN GODDAMMIT! Anyway, here it is:
"In Our Time" (adapted from the book by Ernest Hemingway)
I'll prolly post a higher-rez version later, but these things take a long time to do, so we'll see.
Oh, and I've got an account over at 15megs of fame now, so if you're itchin' to hear some "Toothpick Stranger" or some "Meet John Lannon," then you should check it out.
"In Our Time" (adapted from the book by Ernest Hemingway)
I'll prolly post a higher-rez version later, but these things take a long time to do, so we'll see.
Oh, and I've got an account over at 15megs of fame now, so if you're itchin' to hear some "Toothpick Stranger" or some "Meet John Lannon," then you should check it out.
the superiority of webcomics
The internet is ever-changing and adapting. There's no controlling the direction in which it will grow next. It's all about the global community, there are communities of blogs, there are community blogs, there's social bookmarking, there's social photo sharing, copyright has been reformed, I don't think I even have to mention file sharing. The RIAA makes wild swings at filesharing, as helpless as a lion tamer in a stadium filled with billions of rocket propelled lions. They might take down one or two lions, but there's plenty more where that came from. They have no idea what they're up against.
The way I understand Marxism is that once a society has undergone a stage of capitalism, it then moves on to socialism, and finally to a utopian communism. The reason communism has never really worked (aside from modern China, which is a whole different story) is that countries like Russia decided to completely skip the capitalistic phase. Marx actually specifically stated that Russia would be a completely inappropriate place for a communist revolution, but I guess Lenin thought he wasn't being serious.
My question is this: Will the internet, with its unlimited and unrestricted exchange of information, spell the end of capitalism and bring upon humanity a new age of socialism?
Prolly not. It'll certainly make things awesomer, though.
This brings me (sorta) to my point of discussion. For quite a while now, Scott Kurtz of the webcomic PvP and Wiley Miller of newspaper comic Non Sequitur have been feuding about whose medium of publication is superior. Wiley makes his money because the newspaper pays him, which is the way it's been done since the conception of the comic strip. Kurtz, however, posts his comics online, has amassed a large fanbase, and makes his money from ads on his site. This is standard webcomic procedure. The feud began when Scott began offering his daily comic to newspapers for free. More people reading him in papers would mean more hits to his website, which would mean more eyeballs on his ads. Print, of course, is Wiley's territory, and he made several comics making it clear just what he thought about Scott Kurtz.
Does it matter if something is published 'properly' in a newspaper? Absolutely not. It's all about influence. More readership means more influence, and currently Wiley's comics have a huge readership thanks to the mass distribution of the newspapers in which he is published. The tables are turning, however, as webcomics are beginning to undermine the old preconceptions of publishing. Wiley may be on top now, but he'll have to move his feet pretty fast if he wants to keep up with the ever-adapting threat of the internet. The old newspaper system has stagnated, and the internet has unleashed the greatest catalyst of progress ever: Communication.
...
Links:
The way I understand Marxism is that once a society has undergone a stage of capitalism, it then moves on to socialism, and finally to a utopian communism. The reason communism has never really worked (aside from modern China, which is a whole different story) is that countries like Russia decided to completely skip the capitalistic phase. Marx actually specifically stated that Russia would be a completely inappropriate place for a communist revolution, but I guess Lenin thought he wasn't being serious.
My question is this: Will the internet, with its unlimited and unrestricted exchange of information, spell the end of capitalism and bring upon humanity a new age of socialism?
Prolly not. It'll certainly make things awesomer, though.
This brings me (sorta) to my point of discussion. For quite a while now, Scott Kurtz of the webcomic PvP and Wiley Miller of newspaper comic Non Sequitur have been feuding about whose medium of publication is superior. Wiley makes his money because the newspaper pays him, which is the way it's been done since the conception of the comic strip. Kurtz, however, posts his comics online, has amassed a large fanbase, and makes his money from ads on his site. This is standard webcomic procedure. The feud began when Scott began offering his daily comic to newspapers for free. More people reading him in papers would mean more hits to his website, which would mean more eyeballs on his ads. Print, of course, is Wiley's territory, and he made several comics making it clear just what he thought about Scott Kurtz.
Does it matter if something is published 'properly' in a newspaper? Absolutely not. It's all about influence. More readership means more influence, and currently Wiley's comics have a huge readership thanks to the mass distribution of the newspapers in which he is published. The tables are turning, however, as webcomics are beginning to undermine the old preconceptions of publishing. Wiley may be on top now, but he'll have to move his feet pretty fast if he wants to keep up with the ever-adapting threat of the internet. The old newspaper system has stagnated, and the internet has unleashed the greatest catalyst of progress ever: Communication.
...
Links:
- LEVY - I really like their song "Rector Street" and I think I'm going to buy their album (found on 15megs of Fame)
- Cromulac - A perfectly cromulent generator of random words (via)
- Urinal Game - (mov, via)
- Apple iHome pictures/video - Somebody's been leaking info on Apple's new computer. It's basically an iMac, but without the screen, so it's cheaper and thus more appealing to folks who want to make the switch to Macs. (via)
- 3.6 million nickels stolen - I think I know who did it...
1.07.2005
damn you cromwell!
I have a special treat for fans. Brian just sent me the new mix of "Cromwell" featuring Dan Huff doing the Lord Protectors.
Here is a 12 second clip. The full song will be on the album.
Here is a 12 second clip. The full song will be on the album.
you're such a lazy kitty
The L.A. Times has stopped running 'Garfield' in their paper. Humor columnist Gene Weingarten says Garfield is "a strip produced by a committee, devoid of originality, devoid of guts, a strip cynically DESIGNED to be inoffensive and bad, on the theory that public tastes are insipid."
Now, I was a big Garfield fan when I was a kid. I bought up a bunch of those big "Fat Cat Three Pack" books (does anyone know what I'm talking about?), and a lot of my first drawings were based on the Jim Davis style. Eventually, my interest in it faded away, leaving just a flavor of nostalgia for the comics in the back of my mind.
It was years later, in high school, when I started noticing all of the Garfield merchandise. It used to be I'd see a poster with my favorite obese feline on it, and I would be happy just to see him. I was in high school, however, when it became apparent to me how simple all the Garfield posters were. It would be just Garfield opening a door, and it would say "School is the Door to Tomorrow!" or something equally inane. They were terrible quality posters, looking as if Jim Davis had drawn it in a couple of minutes (if he even drew it), and there were tons of these things! On posters, on folders, on lunchboxes and anything else they could slap a drawing of the little bastard. In high school, for the first time, this is how I stopped seeing my favorite fat cat everywhere, and started seeing it as a big fat roll of bills in Jim Davis' pocket. Jim Davis was no longer a hero, he was a sell-out. My nostalgia soon vanished for the series when I realized that even the comics were three-panel cookie cutter pieces of garbage.
For a short time, there was a website known as "Zen Garfield" that would randomly assemble panels from a database of garfield comics to create entirely new strips. Since every Garfield comic is essentially about the same thing, oftentimes you couldn't tell the difference between a regular Garfield strip and a Zen Garfield strip. Of course, Jim Davis' ravenous hoard of lawyers descended upon Zen Garfield almost immediately, and the site was torn to ribbons.
There is still a way to attain a sense of zen from Garfield comics, though. What you have to do is take a three-panel comic, and read only the first two panels. Instead of a crappy joke, you get a really obtusely zen feeling. For example, here's todays Garfield comic without the last panel:
Garfield is lying on the counter (or whatever that flat surface is that's featured in nearly every Garfield comic ever drawn), and John says, "You are the laziest creature on earth."
Garfield responds, "YES!"
Then you don't read anymore. It's really much more thought-provoking than if you had known the crappy punch-line (and no, I'm not going to tell it to you).
Anyway, I'm proud of the L.A. times for publicly announcing the banality of Garfield comics and acting upon it. I hope to see other papers follow suite, and maybe the fat cat will finally put to rest the dead horse he's been whipping for so long.
Tomorrow: The Superiority of Webcomics
-Dave
PS Penny-Arcade has a comic about this today. They are much funnier than Garfield.
PPS I know, I stopped doing the all-lowercase thing. I was going for a style before, but that style betrayed my natural tendancies towards proper capitalization. It started to drive me nuts.
...
Links:
Now, I was a big Garfield fan when I was a kid. I bought up a bunch of those big "Fat Cat Three Pack" books (does anyone know what I'm talking about?), and a lot of my first drawings were based on the Jim Davis style. Eventually, my interest in it faded away, leaving just a flavor of nostalgia for the comics in the back of my mind.
It was years later, in high school, when I started noticing all of the Garfield merchandise. It used to be I'd see a poster with my favorite obese feline on it, and I would be happy just to see him. I was in high school, however, when it became apparent to me how simple all the Garfield posters were. It would be just Garfield opening a door, and it would say "School is the Door to Tomorrow!" or something equally inane. They were terrible quality posters, looking as if Jim Davis had drawn it in a couple of minutes (if he even drew it), and there were tons of these things! On posters, on folders, on lunchboxes and anything else they could slap a drawing of the little bastard. In high school, for the first time, this is how I stopped seeing my favorite fat cat everywhere, and started seeing it as a big fat roll of bills in Jim Davis' pocket. Jim Davis was no longer a hero, he was a sell-out. My nostalgia soon vanished for the series when I realized that even the comics were three-panel cookie cutter pieces of garbage.
For a short time, there was a website known as "Zen Garfield" that would randomly assemble panels from a database of garfield comics to create entirely new strips. Since every Garfield comic is essentially about the same thing, oftentimes you couldn't tell the difference between a regular Garfield strip and a Zen Garfield strip. Of course, Jim Davis' ravenous hoard of lawyers descended upon Zen Garfield almost immediately, and the site was torn to ribbons.
There is still a way to attain a sense of zen from Garfield comics, though. What you have to do is take a three-panel comic, and read only the first two panels. Instead of a crappy joke, you get a really obtusely zen feeling. For example, here's todays Garfield comic without the last panel:
Garfield is lying on the counter (or whatever that flat surface is that's featured in nearly every Garfield comic ever drawn), and John says, "You are the laziest creature on earth."
Garfield responds, "YES!"
Then you don't read anymore. It's really much more thought-provoking than if you had known the crappy punch-line (and no, I'm not going to tell it to you).
Anyway, I'm proud of the L.A. times for publicly announcing the banality of Garfield comics and acting upon it. I hope to see other papers follow suite, and maybe the fat cat will finally put to rest the dead horse he's been whipping for so long.
Tomorrow: The Superiority of Webcomics
-Dave
PS Penny-Arcade has a comic about this today. They are much funnier than Garfield.
PPS I know, I stopped doing the all-lowercase thing. I was going for a style before, but that style betrayed my natural tendancies towards proper capitalization. It started to drive me nuts.
...
Links:
- Air sickness bags = Art? - Terrible web design, but strange/interesting/obsessive content (via)
- Live From The Russian Compound - The new video from the Locust is great (mov, via Brian Shebake)
- Another article on Garfield - "Garfield's origins were so mercantile that it's fair to say he never sold out—he never had any integrity to put on the auction block to begin with." (via)
1.06.2005
the game is on
no doodle today.
a while ago, i saw a link on my favorite blog, waxy.org by andy baio, in which this guy had written/recorded a theme song for his own blog. now, those of you who know me know that i've written a number of theme songs for other people, even one girl that i didn't even know at the time, so i'm no stranger to the theme song genre. next to the link, andy had said, "every blog needs a theme song." this, of course, i could not ignore. after a long internal debate about whether or not i could come up with a good song for waxy, i finally im'ed andy and told him that i would write a song for him. he didn't know who i was or where i came from, but he was nice about it and was happy to hear it.
now, the challenge is on. i will write the waxy themesong.
...
links:
a while ago, i saw a link on my favorite blog, waxy.org by andy baio, in which this guy had written/recorded a theme song for his own blog. now, those of you who know me know that i've written a number of theme songs for other people, even one girl that i didn't even know at the time, so i'm no stranger to the theme song genre. next to the link, andy had said, "every blog needs a theme song." this, of course, i could not ignore. after a long internal debate about whether or not i could come up with a good song for waxy, i finally im'ed andy and told him that i would write a song for him. he didn't know who i was or where i came from, but he was nice about it and was happy to hear it.
now, the challenge is on. i will write the waxy themesong.
...
links:
- billy harvey music - incredibly original site design. i'm going to buy his album just because i was so impressed (via)
- pikachu - just... just look at it. i guarantee you'll be astounded. (via)
- wired interview with former nintendo ceo hiroshi yamauchi - this guy is awesome, he's such a dirty old man. quote: "Look at the size and weight of the PSP, you could kill a man with it. Look at the shape. ... It’s shaped like a giant penis." (via)
- zissou sneaker - let adidas know you want one! (via)
1.05.2005
i liked the fish
i seriously can't stop thinking about "the life aquatic," which is why this review upsets me. it's barely even a review, it's just ramblings about his contempt for hipsters. this has sparked a little debate over on metafilter, in which some interesting things have been said. i could write a review or defend it, but i really don't care what other people think. it now sits on a little shelf in my brain labeled 'best movies evar.'
i hung out with sam and john lannon yesterday, and we rented "mean girls," which was surprisingly very funny. if you're at the video store and out of ideas, give it a go.
...
links:
- the museum of food anomalies - an interesting little gallery (via)
- khaaan.com - it's nothing new, but it came up when we watched the movie the other day.
- cnn cans tucker carlson of 'crossfire' - jon stewart wins! (via) - i posted this on metafilter and there was quite the response!
1.04.2005
for this doodle i was trying out the style of a lesson is learned, which is a great comic by the way. i like how the orange guy totally looks undead or something.
watched "wrath of khan" with the boys yesterday. it was great. we also watched "the girl next door," but that was not a very good movie.
time to go back to school...
...links:
- screambody - an external "organ" that allows you to scream anywhere. (quicktime, via)
- video of japanese subway train packing - this job would be awesome (wmv, via)
1.03.2005
uuuuhhhhh... da-na na-na
i drew a picture for you just now! this one goes out to my sister, who has a thing for squids.
today was the first day of the 2nd quarter for school. it was all rainy and cold, and i was feeling sick, so the day hasn't been great so far. hopefully jim and everybody will be doing stuff and i can get in on that.
now that school is "fixing" my weird sleeping schedule, i've got a lot of free time in the mornings. i think i'll try doing a doodle a day. wish me luck!
...links:
- things that don't exist - ridiculous song performed by sock puppets. the lyrics are here if you want to sing along. (quicktime, via metafilter)
- someone keeps stealing my letters - multi-user online refridgerator magnets. it's fun to try and spell stuff, organize by color, or just try and keep one corner clear of all letters. some people will help, while others will try to destroy your plans. (flash, via metafilter)
- coloured smoke - awesome photos (via mocoloco)
1.02.2005
new year
that was seriously the best new year evar. seriously. i'm just now coming to terms with its greatness.
conversation with iris:
buriednexttoyou: I said, "Lady... step inside my hundai"
buriednexttoyou: I'm gonna take you up to glendale
buriednexttoyou: gonna take you for a real good meal
matchmaniscoolne: is it hot in here or is it just me?:0
buriednexttoyou: IT'S BOTH OF US
links will now be served daily. you have the right to know what's good on the internet right now.
links:
September 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
May 2007
June 2007
October 2007
conversation with iris:
buriednexttoyou: I said, "Lady... step inside my hundai"
buriednexttoyou: I'm gonna take you up to glendale
buriednexttoyou: gonna take you for a real good meal
matchmaniscoolne: is it hot in here or is it just me?:0
buriednexttoyou: IT'S BOTH OF US
links will now be served daily. you have the right to know what's good on the internet right now.
links:
- video of some netherlands pranksters exploding a bomb under a bridge (wmv video, via boingboing)
- darth vader/weirdo (this is really really strange and not safe for work) (quicktime video, via waxy)
- the egg song is cute, musical, and inexplicable. (flash cartoon, via my sister)
- katamari damacy 2 screenshots (sequel to the best game evar, via waxy)
- homemade tank. i like the part where he drives it through a shack. (video, via engadget)
- strobopick looks amazing, and someone needs to buy me one immediately. (via musicthing)
